So, this is what I am about. This is a perfect representation of me. Half wants to be this wacky, fun, and completely independent free spirit, the other is a rigid, uniformed, hateful beast that can't see his own issues. I really dont like the idea of being gay, but the lifestyle looks fun. Free love all the time, emotionally driven lives filled with joy and exploration. Instead, I am here, locked into a sexless relationship, blinded by spiritual duty. What is the point of having life suck in order to achieve something no one can actually describe. If eternal life means this life forever, constantly in chains under a ruler no one can see, that safeguards everything it does, I don't really want that. Count me out.
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