Pretty Zombies

So, I found out that a girl I've known for a few years at school is a GAMER! This made her so very hot. We are hooking up the 360 in my friend's minivan on the way to SA for SWPA. She and I are going to be able to hang out and share something in common. A door, maybe...?

I have so much to do this week, but that is a good thing, because I have a 5-day weekend lol. I can't believe this semester is almost over. Time seems to speed up as we age.

I bought chelada tonight. Such a wonderful beverage. I wish I could find a girl that shares my affinity for strange eats and drinks. I am so excited to be back in San Antonio later this week. A good friend of mine that became a friend of someone back home, Nathan, and I will be going to a hookah bar. I will not smoke anything I have to inhale, but I will be enjoying my cigars. Too bad they are too young to drink lol.

Saw Sucker Punch. Everyone thinks it's amazing, but fanboys/girls will be...well...deluded individuals that will stil lbuy the merchandise and write shitty fanfics lol. At least they have passion.

Gonna go warm up somefood, and drink some chelada so I can stand to watch superjail with Austin. That show is complete and utter hundscheiBe!

Cheap Thrills

Wondered if life was just a collection of disappointments interrupted randomly by cheap thrills. We become so content with amazing so easy and quickly, that life becomes like crack, consuming, looking for the next amazing thing.

Alex is so very stupid. She will never be a good friend or girlfriend. I am calling it now, divorce or misery. I've gotten over being dragged along, but now I am trying to be a friend, and she is too stupid to figure it out. I give her space, and all she does is disappear.

I've made new friends, and strengthened old ties. No longer am I slaving away to her. The tumor has ceased to grow, and now I am performing the final cut to sever this leech from my life.

I am excited to be a Brony now. Totally getting into the little subculture lol. Wonder how long I can keep up this progressive streak of mine. I want to be loved, but I am ok not searching every second. I actually found myself checking out a figure that a classmate in my Tai Chi class possessed. I have a word for it: Fox. There is something beautiful about a woman that can calm the hell down, wear her hair loosely, not bother with make-up and be genuine to a fault. THAT is beautiful. Make-up is just awkward to me, and it has to be a pain in the ass for women. If someone expected me to straighten my hair everyday, match colors of clothing and whatever, and wear make-up, I would fail miserably.

It was odd. I have never been the guy to attract the female eye, but when I dressed up, shaved, wore a tie, and presented at a research festival, i could FEEL women looking at me. I loved every second of it, and learned that I am quite the little shy boy. It was a wonderful experience to learn about myself from others.

I cant wait to make a drink tomorrow. I have gotten heavy into My Little Pony, and there are drink recipes for each of the characters. I am going to make Applejack, the rugged and tough farm pony drink. Whiskey, apple cider, and a touch of Jager. Excited.

Fuck....she had to text me just now, didn't she? *Drops phone and doesn't give a shit*

Got a torch, finally, for my cigars. I hate those cheap bic lighters...they can't light a cigar in a room if someone breathes too hard. Torches rule!

Women

Women are nice, but they just hurt you. Best friend starts dating a guy, three months later is engaged. Had no idea. Tells me she's in love, doesn't sound convincing. He's in the navy, strong, secure, won't have to think about much, just follows orders. She likes that. Doesn't want to live in the real world, so this works for her. Kinda wondering where I fit now. She shrieks through the phone about everything wrong with him, started drinking to drown out her problems with him. True love. Says she understands why I am upset, doesn't even know the half of it. Dont even know this guy that is taking her away. Hopped around schools, couldn't cut it, joined navy after college. Real winner. Not sure if she is worth even being around anymore. Person like that obviously has some nasty shit in the closet. Her lack of standards will not bring me down with her. When she is sitting in a foreign country, looking out the window, her third drink in her hand, alone, I will not be there. Love is a game for fools, I am quickly learning that. I just don't need this anymore. Too many girls that laugh a little too loud, wearing rings that they picked out for their boyfriends to buy. Men stripped of dignity to appease the lust of a woman; their souls for her consumption. Social clubs hold ceremonies here to pressure the man to propose. I don't want any part in this. I do not need a woman. And if one comes along, she better be prepared to deal with this.

I am wondering how long it will be before the divorce. I will not attend the wedding. I will go do something else that has the promise of a future, or at least a future that will outlast this bullshit. Why are women like this? What is this need to be married? Why cling to a man as your source of being? Studies show that men tend to act and think to solve problems, while women just try to spread the pain around by talking with friends and husbands. The smartest husbands alive are the ones that brush the nagging wife away; he won't fall into her trap. Kinda sad that it has come to this, but in the long run I will be a better and happier person. Even if I have to go to restaurants alone, movies by myself, or dinner parties without company, at least i won't be hurt by another person.

What luck?

Well, the movie was sold out. Huzzah! But then I had other weird things happen this weekend. I went to hot topic, owed a friend some money, so he had me buy stuff for him in there...orgy dice. Nice... Then, I go over to fetch something from a friend's house and catch him and his girlfriend going at it right in plain view when I walked in. Why does this shit happen to meeee?! If I had built a shack to contain my loneliness, this was the damn typhoon that splintered it to oblivion. Oh well. Time to rebuild...

I love cigars. I actually found a box of cigars made by the company that Freud loved purchasing from. I am going to buy it. I'll never smoke cigs, just cuz they smell and taste like shit. A cigar can make a room smell good, and sharing scotch with friends is always a good time.

Gnomeo and Juliet

I don't really want to see this movie, but friends are going. Blarg...this movie looks awful. I hope tickets don't sell out in Abilene *snicker*...*crosses fingers*! I am going to go to a wonderful retirement home this afternoon to visit with some "old" friends hahahaha! It is amazing how truly more full my life has gotten since I broke up. I guess leeches can slow you down... But to be fair, she and I are still "talking" to one another, telling about our days and other random crap I really don't care much about. Thinking of starting to date again...already. There are amazing women here that I know would have a lot more to offer me, and I could be there for them too. I am nervous about dating, because I have always dated safely. I have never gone for a woman that I may not be sure of the answer. I need to take a few risks now. Better to handle a few rejections and be accepted by the right one than keep taking in strays that were never meant to be.

Artwork by http://squeedgemonster.deviantart.com/

My life needs a nice Ravestep remix

Well, I am now getting a group together to go to a "techno rave friday" that a local club hosts, well, every friday. One good friend of mine is into all that "poi" business, a couple tagging along is practically vampiric, and there are a bunch of clueless ones -THAT'S ME! :D-

I have never been to a club, and I am tired of being no fun. This is me trying to test the waters, and see if I enjoy this activity. Win or lose, I love the people I'm going with, and I know this will be a fun time.

It is amazing how quickly I became an individual again. It was like being born into a new psyche. I am more fun, I agree to go out more, I am keeping in touch with family, I haven't sat on my ass a whole lot, and I am liking it.

Funny Events

So, my study abroad friends are some of my closest buddies, and I am happy that they accept me in all of my "Kyle-ness". I sat down with two of the girls from study abroad, my closest of my study abroad friends, to eat lunch at a build-your-own burrito place. We began discussing the woes of singlehood and of course, being a male, it transitioned to ideals of form, "sizes" and other things. Now, I have always somewhat yearned for the primitive human experience, been mountain climbing, ate intestines, slept in a favela, etc. But actually finding a woman that embraces that too would be so very appealing. I mentioned that I thought overalls were hot. I shouldn't have...

After 5 minutes of roaring laughter that nearly encouraged me to act like I needed a drink refill so I could act like I didn't know them, I had to explain myself. Ok. Yes, overalls are what we all wore when we were little, awkward children in elementary school, but now, they can be very attractive! A woman that can just toss her hair down, wear nothing but possibly the most practical article of clothing, and be interested in me is an absolute dream! But alas...I am only weird Kyle.